When you’re better at small talk, social events will not be excruciating, and talking to people becomes enjoyable. Also, the positive response you get from others will make you feel good. Or you can share interesting facts you know about the events, people, places. Comments like, “I hear the speaker at this event is really good. She sells out every year.” Then there is the eternal source of all better conversation starters.
According to the International Journal of Business Communication, small talk skills transcend cultural and language barriers and can help you quickly establish rapport and trust with new people. “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”– Henry David Thoreau, on the power of genuine and attentive conversation. People often drag conversations on for too long because they can’t figure out how to end them, Brooks says. Sandstrom once complimented a waitress on her earrings, and the woman told her how she collects a new set everywhere she travels. That particular pair happened to be shaped like sailboats—and had been made out of old boat materials.
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For up-and-coming leaders, networking can feel more like a necessary chore than a valuable opportunity. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. The discomfort of networking often comes from outdated approaches, such as transactional pitches, surface-level small talk and the pressure to “sell” oneself. Browse their website, Google them to gather some recent news updates, read their employee testimonials on other sites (like The Muse!), and scroll through their social media. Get a sense of not just what your specific role would entail and what the team does, but the company’s history, mission, and overall vibe.
How To Network Like A Pro Without That ‘icky’ Feeling: 20 Expert Tips
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- When in doubt, ask questions about the other person—people love to talk about themselves.
- That might sting if you were hoping for a new connection, but not every chat turns into something more, and some people are duds (sorry not sorry).
- Comments like, “I hear the speaker at this event is really good.
- It can be hard to tell if someone wants to start talking to you.
Chitchat is way more engaging when you’ve found real, natural things to discuss versus sticking with a bunch of rehearsed clichés that make everyone roll their eyes. Start thinking of these networking events as connection-building opportunities. Go in ready to share, connect and collaborate with others. Ask thoughtful questions and aim to make one meaningful connection rather than trying to meet everyone in the room.
Then ask great follow-up questions based on their response. Your boring small-talk chat will quickly evolve into something meaningful. Improving your overall conversation skills and ability to can help you feel more confident and less reactive to the conversation. This includes being mindful of non-verbal cues and social cues, focussing on active listening, asking thoughtful questions, and learning how to express empathy. With practice, you’ll be better equipped to navigate any social situation, whether it involves small talk or deep conversations. Small talk may seem superficial, but it plays a www.clippings.me/users/asiavibe/ crucial role in social interactions.
Maybe they mentioned a new product they launched that you want to check out, or something about the culture you want to follow up on via email, or a person to reach out to. You won’t regret having those in writing when you go to write your thank you note or walk into the next round of interviews. By the way, please do not eat or chew gum during your interview. If you prefer, set a glass of water next to you for when your mouth starts to get dry. First, give the job description a gander to understand exactly what role you’re interviewing for and what the interviewer may ask you about over the phone.
Follow this author to personalize your feed and get instant alerts. Carrie Ashfield worked as a real estate executive for 20+ years. As a Manager, she mentored 50+ employees, graduated from countless leadership and communications courses, and has served on the Board of Directors for TCREW – Toronto Commercial Real Estate Women. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in History & Business from Wilfrid Laurier University and a Bachelor of Applied Arts degree from Ryerson University in Radio and Television Arts. She’s raising two teenage boys, two Huskies, and has acknowledged addictions to movies, books, and being outside. When you reframe your interactions like this, you don’t end up in the trap of looking for approval.
As an introvert, you can search for cues and learn to respond appropriately. For example, if the other person seems taken aback by your reserved nature, be sure to smile and express genuine enthusiasm in the conversation. Or if the other person starts to get fidgety while you’re speaking at length on a subject, it’s probably time to switch to another topic or wrap up the conversation.
That’s when small talk stops being small, it becomes the start of a real connection. When I put my phone away, it’s like I’m telling the other person, “You matter. I’m here with you.” Small talk dies the moment I split my attention.
Find something that you can genuinely compliment the other person on, then shift to a question so as to avoid any awkwardness. Here are some tips to help you navigate casual conversations, without the awkwardness. Instead, channel your curiosity about a form of personal expression—like funky jewelry or hair color, or a striking outfit or bag—into a compliment that might start a conversation. “When you give someone a compliment, like ‘Oh, I love your tattoo,’ they often interpret it as, ‘You’re asking me the story about it,’” she says.
Subjects like politics, religion, and personal finances can quickly turn a light-hearted chat into a heated debate. Non-verbal cues play a significant role in communication. When making small talk, ensure your body language is open and approachable. Maintain eye contact, stand or sit upright, and avoid crossing your arms.
Because every meaningful relationship in life starts with small talk. If someone asks you what your summer plans are and you have none, instead of saying, “Hmm. Not sure yet,” try saying, “I’m not sure yet, but I’ve been researching a few places in Europe or Asia and am comparing pricing and timing.

